Is Loneliness our new epidemic?

Loneliness. ‘As dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes per day.’

“It may surprise you to learn that the increased risk of premature death that’s associated with social connection is on par with the risks that we see from smoking daily and greater than the risk we see associated with obesity.” US Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy. 2/5/23.

This shocked me when I read it. Then it saddened me. But it didn’t necessarily surprise me completely as an issue.

Loneliness and our increased lack of social connection that Covid forced on us, does seem to be lingering and in my line of work, it is prevalent within businesses also.

Whether this relates to the business owner themselves, battling various issues and trying to keep the power on or Managers within corporates, who have lost a bit of confidence for whatever reason and feel a little lost as to how firm they need to be on staff, given the levels of fragility.

In hindsight, I experienced incredible loneliness when I ran a business for a decade, despite having staff, because I was constantly making decisions, most of which were made alone. This is incredibly draining on your energy but also (and I guess this depends on how correct those decisions were) on your nervous system, as of course there are no guarantees that they’re the right decision.

And of course, in our everyday lives, with our families and friends, despite having people to call upon for support, knowing that people do indeed love you and have your back, for many, it can still be a sense of loneliness.

Let’s not less this continue. Let’s try and help each other out, although we have to help ourselves first by taking action.

Let’s ask ourselves though whether we are actually connecting with those around us on a human level or are we just ‘there’?

Here are some ideas that I hope might help kick-start that greater sense of being part of something and not feeling alone.

Asking for Help — have someone alongside you in the trenches
Whether from a business sense this is someone you trust, to speak with and download, I always say that it’s a sign of strength to ask for help, not a weakness. None of us has all of the answers. I certainly didn’t when I had the business I mentioned above…I was perhaps too proud at the time. For any aspiring business owners, I’d suggest that you always have a trusted and equal business partner.

Time blocking
Lock in time to spend with those that you love or at least enjoy spending time with. Even if it’s a quick summary of your day in person or a phone call with meaning. Put it in your diary even that this is what the time is for. Non-negotiable, unless an emergency comes up.

Putting down our phones & devices
This seems to be a recurring solution to so many of our current daily challenges. When you can start to master it, I think it will have a huge impact. Do you really need to check your phone 5 times an hour? If someone needs you, they will call.

Acts of Service
Even if you’re not feeling that excited by some things in life, maybe put your name down to deliver brochures for a local cause that you believe in or help out at the local library reading to those that can no longer do it for themselves. Volunteering and giving back provides you with a great feeling.

Smiling

It’s very difficult if someone is smiling at you as you walk down the supermarket aisle, not to smile back. See what happens when you do it first, although of course, don’t be creepy!

Organise a street get together
Maybe it’s a potluck dinner, a game night or talking to a group about something you’re passionate about like art? Just sharing your interests in a relaxed setting might do wonders.

Getting outdoors
Can you join a walking or running group? Have a look on local Facebook or other trusted online groups.

Joining other community groups or do a course
If you’re not into sport, maybe there is a local film, book club or other hobby group? Do you enjoy cooking? Art? Music? Gardening? Whatever you’re into, I’m sure there will be community courses at a local school, after hours. I still see a person that I met when I attended a Thai cooking class about 25 years ago with my Dad. (I’m still not such a good cook though unfortunately).

The key to us creating a sense of belonging and just being human I think, is to create environments that encourage open communication, vulnerability and mutual support.

By us fostering these types of connections, I feel that we can each look to bat away those times where we feel a sense of loneliness and build a much stronger sense of belonging and community.

Go well and Carpe Diem.

[Photo by Andrew Moca on Unsplash]

Rich Poole : Co-Pilot
Executive Coaching + Business Advisory