People are life for me. People are what usually creates our experiences and memories, connections and also reflections. I don't think we can do life alone.
And yes there are good people and maybe not so good. But we all hopefully find 'our people'.
For me, having deep personal connections with great humans who care, who are interesting or love learning, who have similar values to me, who are happy to share, who I trust, who are vulnerable and most of all are not afraid to be real, no matter what the situation, are the people that I love to spend and share life with.
So, I make sure that I do lots of interesting things with others that I enjoy spending time with and that I feel add to 'life', rather than take away.
Just for interest's sake I thought I'd share what I'm involved with, in order to have you get to know me a little better.
I certainly wish you well, in creating your own communities, support networks, 'mateship' and most of all fun times - we all need laughter!
And we also need to be able to put our hands up and say 'Help' if we need it, so that people we value & trust, might be able to lend a hand. Having good people around you, can never be underrated. Don't settle for average people in your life - after all, it's not a dress rehearsal!
Go on, create some connections. Don't wait for others to ask you. Be brave. After all, they're just waiting for someone to ask them.
Polo Club: Daily
Three of us blokes, who work in the same line of work, but in different streams/channels of it, have struck up a great friendship over the past 5 years, built on being honest, vulnerable, scared, happy to share and recognise that we don't have all of the answers. What was a fortuitous 'work' connection, has led to the last 5 years of having a daily WhatsApp group where we check in, share/download, test/challenge, question but ensure that we celebrate the wins no matter what. Life is hard and business is a big, big subset of that. We each have families, we each have had some wins in our careers however we have also had a lot of the other stuff happen. It's called Life!
There is no doubt that these guys have helped me 'get through' Covid and beyond. We know what we're each capable of. We encourage each other to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and we back each other but we don't just encourage for the sake of it. If we don't agree with something, particularly if asked to critique, we will ask more questions and offer what we might do in that situation. We have had 'retreats' away for a night where we set goals, talk about dreams, hold each other accountable as well as just talk about 'stuff'.
We're the Polo Club, because when we first all met in person, we were all coincidentally wearing Polo shirts! Checking in has become just part of each other's days and I can highly recommend gathering 1-2 people around you, who feel like they're in the trenches with you.
Breakfast Club: Monthly
10 or so years ago an older gentlemen whom I was on a committee with, kindly invited me to another group that he was part of, which had been going for over 30 years. The members were all slightly older gentlemen who had all had business careers, both in public companies and their own. They were a group of people eager to continue learning, experience camaraderie, not 'do' business per se in any way, however just come together to listen and share.
The group of less than 20, met monthly to hear from politicians, educationalists, entrepreneurs, sportspeople, scientists and just simply interesting people. I loved it and to cut a long story short, I am now fortunate to organise this every month, alongside others.
The group has grown in size but we wish to keep it reasonably small. We have attracted females now, which is also great. I truly love it each month, regardless of the time it takes to organise - the important thing is learning, being around interesting people, meeting new people, having a bond and being able to spend time with people across a large age range, with all sorts of stories behind them. Regardless of age, I believe that we can all learn from each other. I feel very fortunate to have been asked to be part of this group.
Schnitzel Club: Regular
About 7 years ago, I met a Spanish guy at our local tennis club, where all of our kids were playing. He had just moved to NZ with his family and was working with Heineken. He seemed like a great guy and when I asked if he had met many people around the neighbourhood, he said that he hadn't. So I grabbed a few mates from our suburb and we went along to the local restaurant, that pretty much only serves Schnitzel, being a German place. It's great but you know, also not so great!
We took a picture and somehow word got around the neighbourhood and I started to get texts from people asking if they could come and also bring a mate. So today we have almost 60 guys on the WhatsApp and have had nights with 30+ people coming along at times. We're not all great mates to be fair and some people don't know each other at all to be fair, but we share a common bond of just wanting to get out and have a few hours over schnitzel and a beer - and as a result, new friendships are made.
Other mates have their Curry Clubs etc. also and there is a real sense of mateship with it all, which I think is great. We only catch up every few months, but when we do, it's meaningful and always a great night, where we ensure that we take a pic to cement the memory.
ZiGR Dinners: Bi-monthly
A guy who I would class as the best business coach around and in fact he has won many global accolades, has become a very good mate, over the past, I guess, 10 or so years. Along with another mate, we also have regular check ins on text or email, mainly about how business is going but it has also morphed into life stuff. Sometimes you can't put your finger on what makes a few of you come together, but sometimes it just works.
These guys have helped me immensely. There is no judgement, but there is listening and encouragement. We talk about all sorts and although we might not solve the world's problems, we do nudge each other into getting some stuff done.
Friday Golf Club: Not regular enough...
Turning 50 last year, urged me to try a new sport. When I cut my finger the very first time I tried to start foiling, I decided that it might not be my thing! As I'd loved golf as a Junior, I decided to get back into golf - and coincidentally, it seems to be the same decision for most of my old mates!
Whilst I don't often make it to Friday Golf Club, it's worth it when I do. A bluebird day, on the golf course early, realising that even if the golf is average, the company will be great! It's guys and some girlfriends/wives also, which makes it even better.
There is a certain realisation that we're no longer in our 20s, but then I think there is an excitement that we're in our early 50s and hopefully have some good runway left to work on trying to hit the ball straight just once or twice in a round.
Tennis Club: Fortnightly
Sport is such a force. Despite whatever age we might be, it's just so great to be amongst people and to do things that bring you joy. I've been playing tennis since I could first hold a racquet. We were and are a tennis family still. In recent years I've got back into interclub alongside my son and have also just begun social tennis fortnightly, which is just awesome. Each time you meet someone new and interesting. People - the elixir of life!
Random: Brain Drain/Lost Generation campaign
In 2000, I was very worried that all of my mates, who were overseas at the time, might just not come back home. The sense of where NZ was at, kept them away, but also a floodgate of our peers and many others around us in age, headed off. It was actually quite daunting.
I didn't want to sit around, so although filled with twists and turns, I am still very proud of placing a full page advert in a couple of large newspapers behalf of what we called 'Young New Zealanders', to ask our leaders, just what our future might be, if our age group all headed off shore and didn't come back.
It was termed 'The Brain Drain' and it certainly agitated a lot of people, but mostly it invigorated a lot of people. Despite however it was perceived as it drew very wide coverage across all media outlets, I hope that it provided a wee spark for some action.
Here in 2024 though we are again experiencing the same Brain Drain all over again. Maybe I'll do something to raise the conversation about it again. Who knows!
So, Go on, Be brave. Create your own communities and support networks. Stand for what you believe in and enjoy. Try not to wake up tomorrow wishing you'd asked that question or spoken with someone who you wanted to or put in the effort to do what your gut was telling you you should...We simply can't do life alone.